I’d pick you up from your place in my 2004 Acura RSX - it’s black by the way; it seems moody and mysterious, like it’s driver. I get out and open the car door for you like a gentleman. You are surprised and pleased at my chivalry.

“Thank you,” you say.

I look off in the distance and say, “Whatever,” tersely to maintain my badass aura. I get in the car and we drive off into the distance. We arrive at our destination (a seemingly expensive restaurant, but is actually very reasonably priced). We talk of life, of love, philosophy and what would happen if you hired two private investigators to follow each other, but I still seem a little aloof and guarded. Suddenly there is a scream coming from outside. We rush to the street outside. We see a white cloth falling from a multi-story building.

“MY BABY!” a woman screams from a window from the 10th floor.

I sprint to the building as fast as I can - faster than I can. The baby accelerates faster and faster. We hear a loud BOOM as it crosses the sound barrier - It has reached terminal velocity. Just when the infant is about to hit the pavement below, I slide in and catch the child with one facile move. A crowd of people applaud me and you run over to see if I’m ok.

“Are you ok?” you ask.

“Yeah, I’m fine, no big deal,” I respond.

I look back up to the woman looking down at me 10 floors above. I throw the baby back up to it’s grateful mother and she retreats back into her apartment to coddle the child.

“You know this reminds me of a song I wrote,” I say and pull out a guitar from my jacket pocket. I play a heartfelt song that makes me seem layered and introspective. The walls I’ve put around myself are starting to retract and I appear slightly more vulnerable while playing. This turns you on immensely. I finish the song and get in my car and return to your place.

You say something really cliche like, “I had a really nice time.”

“I know you did,” I respond confidently.

I walk you to your door and kiss you passionately. A frisson of excitement runs up you leg and through your spine. You say bye and enter your house shaking from the kiss. You have a feeling, but you don’t know what it is. It’s broad, yet intense, and you never thought anything could feel this good. You’ve never had this feeling before, but you don’t want it to end.

I mean we could do that or go play mini-golf and then go to Chili’s or something afterward.